The Last Time
by Kellyyy
Summary: It feels a little bit like history repeating itself time and time again, never once having the outcome they hope for. Until the last time. LP.


**Summary: **It feels a little bit like history repeating itself time and time again, never once having the outcome they hope for. Until the last time. LP.

**AN: **Hi! Just a one-shot here; all you really need to know is that LP never got together in season 4 and both went to college after graduation. Thank you for reading!

(Title from The Last Time by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody. Just because I fell in love with that song.)

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**The Last Time**

Her eyes fall down as she sighs. She's been in this situation one too many times and to be quite honest, her mind blanks on how to deal with this time and time again. She bites the inside of her cheek, her arms tightly around her body, as he stands impatiently before her, begging her with those clear blue eyes of his to let him in.

He wears the same expression he's worn all too many times before, standing in front of all too many different doors. It's a different door every time, but it always feel the same way.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but she shakes her head softly and he only nods in response.

He gets it.

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"_Lucas." She takes a small step back when she opens the door, her voice soft as she says his name._

_It's only been three months since they last saw each other, five months since they graduated, but he looks different. He looks grown up and she wishes she'd been there to witness it. His blue eyes bore into her green ones and the intensity of his gaze makes her look away, not sure what to do._

"_Can I come in?" He asks tentatively, and watches her face turn from one of confusion into one of quiet fear. He knows what she's afraid for; it's not a conversation they're both looking forward to. He still thinks they should have it, though._

_Peyton wrings her hand a little as she tries to get her nerves under control; tries to find her voice to say more than just his name. "My roommate is cleaning. She loves it." She says and he wants to laugh because of course she'd find a roommate that would clean the apartment. "There's a coffee shop down the road though, if you want."_

_He nods gently at her, tries for a smile even, but his eyes seem perpetually sad; painfully resembling hers. She leads the way and they walk the short distance in silence, Lucas' hands buried deep in the pockets of his jacket; Peyton's hands hugging herself, her fingers gripping her arms._

_Ten minutes later, they're sitting at a small table in a far away corner of the coffee shop, Peyton looking down at the cup of coffee in front of her. She meets his eyes after a couple of moments, "Why did you come here, Lucas?" She asks quietly and her eyes travel down to her cup again almost as soon as the words leave her mouth._

"_I needed to talk to you." He tells her earnestly, his eyes not leaving her face. "I thought we needed to talk about…"_

_Peyton lets out a soft sigh, "Your silence the other day really did say it all, Luke." She's embarrassed, he can tell, and it saddens him to see her that way. He doesn't want her to ever feel embarrassed around him. "I'm sorry for what I said, I shouldn't have."_

_Lucas reaches out for her, but she withdraws her hands and folds them in her lap. "You don't have to apologize, okay? You didn't do anything wrong."_

_She shakes her head a few times, "I was tired and feeling lonely; I probably shouldn't have had that last glass of red wine either. It's okay."_

"_Peyton, you told me you loved me. That you were in love with me." She shuts her eyes for a moment, almost too fast for him to notice, and when she looks at him again, the sadness in her eyes seems even worse. She's his best friend; he hates seeing her like this._

"_Like I said, it's okay. It was a stupid thing to say. You're with someone."_

_He nods slowly, "But that doesn't change the truth of it, right?"_

_It's almost ridiculous; the way it never seems to work out between them. He's been in love with her for god knows how long, but it never seemed to work. She never loved him back. When it looks like she finally does, he's fallen in love with someone else._

"_Doesn't really matter, does it?" Peyton answers, her eyes pleading with him not to make this any harder._

"_I wish I could…" He starts, but lets his sentence trail. He has no idea what to say to her. He wants to make her feel better, make them both feel better, but the only thing he knows will make it better for her is something he simply can't give her._

"_It's okay." Peyton repeats, blinking a few times to keep her from crying. She gets up then, simply not wanting this conversation to be any longer, and leaves her half empty coffee cup on the table. He follows her, reaches for her wrist and makes her face him again._

"_We're still friends, right?" It's not the best question to ask, not the best way to make it hurt less, but he _needs _to know._

_She nods, gives him half a smile, "Of course." _

_Peyton walks away and he trails behind her, making their way back to her apartment, where his car is still parked on the street._

_They say goodbye and hug, but it only lasts a second and it doesn't feel at all like the hugs they used to share. It feels a little bit final and that thought horrifies him. _

_She disappears behind her front door and he smiles sadly at the dark blue door one last time before walking away._

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"I'd ask if I could come in, but…" He lets his sentence trail and she laughs, just a little. The corner of his mouth twitches upwards at the soft sound and God, he missed this. He missed her. His eyes still look sad though, in the same way she imagines hers to look. It's been some tiresome four years for the both of them.

Her hands let go of her body and she runs them through her curls. "You'd think that I'd figure out how to handle you standing on my doorstep after all this time." She says quietly.

Her neighbour, a friendly old lady that's lived her whole life in Tree Hill, leaves her home and waves at Peyton, her face transforming into a smile when she recognizes the new high school basketball coach standing on the pretty blonde's porch. Peyton rolls her eyes; as nice as Rita is, she's probably one of the biggest gossips in town as well.

"You called me, Peyton. And I couldn't not come." Lucas tells her then and it sounds so simple, it almost makes her want to cry. She wishes things had always been that simple.

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_She opens the door with a swing, ready to tell Brooke once again that she should remember to take her keys with her, but the words die on her lips as she sees who's standing in front of her._

"_Luke." She almost whispers and then leaps forward to throw her arms around him. For a moment, she forgets about the last time they saw each other and hugs him like she has wanted to for months. He hugs back tightly and he feels like he could cry at the familiarity. They break apart and she smiles at him, but it doesn't really reach her eyes, "What are you doing here?" Her eyes travel from his face to the street and she raises her eyebrows when she notices his car. "Did you _drive _all the way over here?"_

_He shrugs his shoulders, "Needed a road trip. Can I come in?"_

_Peyton glances over her shoulder into the house and bites her lip."Bitchtoria is here for the week. You really don't want to meet her." She says with a small chuckle. There's a coffee shop not too far away, but that'd feel too much like a repeat of the last time they saw each other so she suggests something else, "The beach is not too far off?"_

"_Sounds good." Lucas smiles at her. _

_They've been walking for almost five minutes, almost completely in silence, save from the standard 'how have you been's, when he stops in his steps and takes a moment to really look at her. She looks content; much more at ease than the last few times he'd seen her. She looks almost happy. He'd believe she was happy would it not be for his extensive knowledge of her eyes. He's studied those green eyes one too many times not to notice it when sadness takes permanent residence in them._

"_You okay?" Peyton asks, stopping as well and turning to him. He's being weird and she has no clue why. She thought he was happy, but seeing him standing there, studying her so closely, she can't shake the feeling that something's wrong. It almost kills her, the fact that while once upon a time she used to know almost everything about him, she can now only guess at what happens in his life._

_They've spoken each other only a handful of times over the last eight months, though they did say they'd stay friends, no matter what. Turns out that's a lot more difficult once you tell your best friend you're in love with him and he can't say it back._

_He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. "I'm fine. I just wish you had come back to Tree Hill for the summer."_

_Her eyebrows are raised, but her voice is soft when she answers, "Why, so we could recreate the summers we'll never get back?" She asks and it feels like a punch in the gut. _

"_We were supposed to stay friends."_

_She starts walking again, "We still are. But things have changed, whether we want it or not. We're not in high school anymore, Lucas. We're each doing our thing and you know, as they say, life doesn't stop for anybody."_

_He falls in step next to her and nods slowly, "So I've heard. Nashville, huh?"_

_They reach the beach and find a spot to sit, away from all the noise. She buries her toes in the warm sand, watches the grains as they cover her feet. "Big music scene." She clarifies, though she's sure he knows the reason she's transferring colleges. "Feels more like me than LA."_

_Lucas smiles, "It does."_

_They fall silent for a while, both looking out over the ocean. He wishes he could go back to that time two summers ago when they had found themselves in the same position, only facing a different ocean. He wishes he could relive that careless summer._

"_Laura and I broke up." He says then, breaks the silence, and Peyton's head snaps up._

"_I'm sorry, Lucas. What happened?" She asks, genuinely sorry. She could be happy; he's single again and she'd be lying if she said that, in the last ten months, she hadn't been wishing for that from time to time. But he's her friend and she wants what's best for him. She doesn't want him to have to go through breakups and heartaches._

_He rolls his shoulders, "I don't know, to be honest. I guess we weren't as compatible as I thought." He could tell her that Laura found a box with a few too many reminders of a time when the curly blonde could have possibly been more than just his friend, but he doesn't. He doesn't tell her that even though he loved being with Laura, she never really left his mind after she told him she loved him. He doesn't tell her that Laura figured that out too. He could, but he doesn't._

_He'll save that for another conversation, or maybe he'll never say it at all._

"_I'm sorry." Peyton says again, lacking better words._

_He tilts his head a little, smiles at her when she faces him, "It's okay."_

_They spend their day at the beach, falling back into comfortable friendship. She has trouble remembering the last time they spend a day like that and it almost feels stupid that they've drifted apart so much. He'd become her best friend in senior year; she'd never wanted to lose that. _

_He walks her back to Brooke's house at the end of the day and when they reach the door, she offers him to stay the night. He's driven all the way to LA, it seems such a waste if he would have to leave already._

"_There are enough spare bedrooms in this house to accommodate a basketball team, Luke." Peyton laughs when he tells her he'd have no place to sleep._

_He laughs too, but shakes his head, "I should really get going. But it was great to see you again, Peyt."_

_She nods and smiles, though she's a little bit disappointed. "It was great to see you too." She says and steps closer, wrapping her arms around him. She's not sure when she'll see him again and it sort of breaks her heart._

_They let go of each other, but for a moment, it looks as if he doesn't want to leave yet. His hands are still on her arms, his eyes locked with hers. He wants to say something, but the words die on his lips before he really figures out what he was going to say. He lets his hand trail down her arms, briefly squeezing her hand, before taking a step back and walking to his car._

_Peyton offers him a small wave and he smiles at her, lifting up his hand as well. He watches her as she closes the red door behind him and he gets it now._

_He understands why eventually, she had to tell him how she felt all those months ago._

_Not saying anything feels pretty awful; he gets that now._

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"Did you mean it?" Lucas asks quietly and looks her right in the eyes.

Her eyes move skyward, looks like the beginning of an eye-roll, and he almost wants to laugh. Peyton on the other hand almost scoffs, "Of course I meant what I said. I just didn't expect you to stand in front of me the day after."

"I want it to stop, you know?" He tells her, but she only looks puzzled. "This constant going back and forth, perpetually feeling that sense of what if. I don't want any what if's."

Peyton nods, but stays silent. She can't find the right words. It's as easy as telling him that she doesn't want to either, but to be honest, she didn't think she'd have to spell it out for him anymore.

"You're back for good, right? You broke up with... him." He says, as if he can't bring himself to say the guy's name. "You moved back home and you called and said that you missed me; that you still loved me. How could you tell me that and then not want me to come see you."

Her eyes fly to his face, quickly lock with his, "I wanted you to come. I just didn't think you would." She says softly. "I thought you had moved on; you should've moved on. We've put each other through enough heartache, Lucas."

His look softens immediately and taking a step closer, he reaches out a hand for her face, traces the apple of her cheek and then lets it rest on her neck, "I don't think I'll ever be able to move on from you."

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_Peyton rounds the corner of the street, her house almost in view. She stops in her tracks when she sees someone sitting on the steps leading to the front door, narrowing her eyes at the familiar figure._

"_Lucas?" His blue eyes look up at her and it almost feels like a slap in the face. It's been long since she saw those eyes, almost too long, she thinks. _

_He smiles at her, "Hi."_

_She takes a seat next to him on the steps, "What are you doing here?"_

_Lucas sighs, rubs his neck as he figures out what to tell her, "Would it sound silly if I said I just sort of needed to come."_

"_That's pretty much what you said the last few times you stood at my door, so no." Peyton says, a soft smile around her lips. "It's been really long, Luke. Why the sudden urge to come?"_

_He shrugs his shoulders, though he's well aware that she won't take that for an answer. He knows she'll let him tell her when he wants to, though._

"_You know, it's almost two years since we graduated." He says, looks up at her to meet those green eyes and just for a second it feels like the first time he sees them. In the past few months, he's found himself a few too many times wishing to go back in time; to go back to a time when he had yet to meet those eyes and to have the chance to do everything different._

_Peyton nods, her hands moving to hug her body. In a way, she's never really sure if she should think back to high school with fondness or sadness. "I know. Time flies, huh?" She answers eventually._

"_Not really." He admits and tries to ignore the questioning look she sends him. "Nice place you've got here."_

"_Even better that I barely have to pay rent." She says, laughs a little, but he can't seem to match it and it all feels wrong. "Lucas, what is going on?" She asks then, her eyes worriedly searching his face._

_He lets out a sigh, runs a hand over his face, "I love you, you know that?" She wants to answer that she loves him too, but he shakes his head and she knows what's coming before he has said more. "I'm in love with you."_

_For a moment, she thinks he's executing some twisted form of revenge on her; putting her in the same position she once put him in. But then she locks eyes with him and the sadness almost blows her away. He's not trying to make her pay for what she said to him months and months ago; he's simply telling her the truth. Like she had once done as well._

"_Lucas," She almost whispers, "you know I'm –" Before she can say more the front door swings open, catching both their attention._

"_I thought I heard voices." A voice remarks and Peyton's on her feet in an instant. Lucas follows, though he's not as quick to face the guy._

_He's too lanky, not at all athletic, and too dark, Lucas thinks, to fit in with her. They don't look good as a couple if you ask him, but he knows that's just his jealousy speaking. _

_Peyton stands awkwardly between the two men, at a loss for words. It's bad enough that Lucas just told her he loved her, but that he now also has to meet her boyfriend seems almost too cruel. She's well aware that it would have killed her if it had happened to her in the past; she doesn't want this for Lucas._

_She turns to her boyfriend eventually, "Um, Dean, this is Lucas, a friend from high school. Lucas, Dean."_

"_The boyfriend." Dean supplies, trying not to wonder why she wasn't the one to say that, and shakes Lucas' outstretched hand._

_He seems nice enough, and through the phone calls he's shared with Peyton in the last few months he knows he treats her well. There's a part of him that wishes the guy was a tool though, that there was an actual reason to hate him, but Dean is good for Peyton, he knows that._

"_Do you want to come in?" He offers, doesn't notice the way Peyton's eyes shut close for a second; doesn't notice the way she bites her lip, hoping that Lucas will say no._

_Lucas does._

"_No, thank you." He answers politely. "I was about to go actually so…"_

_Dean nods and glances at Peyton standing next to him. "I let you two say goodbye then. Nice to meet you, Lucas." He lets his hand linger on the small of Peyton's back for just a second and Lucas wants to think of it as possessive, but it's probably just a simple, loving gesture._

_Peyton smiles at him and watches him walk inside again before looking back at Lucas, "I'm sorry, I didn't know he was home."_

"_It's okay. Finally got to meet the guy whose dad is insanely rich and lets you live in one of his countless houses in the country." He remarks, a little bitterly, though he could've foreseen it all before he made the trip to Nashville._

"_Lucas," She says softly, her eyes sad. She doesn't really know to say though. "I pay rent, you know."_

_He smiles, fleetingly, but she'll take whatever she can get. "I know. Are you in love with him?" He asks and steps closer to her._

_She almost wants to say no; wants to spare him from hearing the words, but she can't lie to him. She should, maybe, but she can't. "Yeah, I am. I'm sorry, Luke."_

_He shakes his head a few times and reaches out for her hand, "Don't apologize for that. I just… I wanted you to know where I stood, I suppose you know the feeling."_

_Peyton nods weakly and wraps her arms around him, wanting to feel the comfortable safeness of his embrace just one more time. He hugs back, almost buries his face in her curls, lingers for a moment before he pulls back. Once again, it feels a little too much like a final goodbye._

_He walks down the steps but before he can really walk away, she calls out to him,_

"_Sometimes I find myself wishing I could go back. You know, to a time when we were just silly teenagers. I'd do things differently, Luke. I really would." Her voice sounds sad, heartbreakingly so, and he wishes he hadn't come; that he hadn't told her he loved her. He knew all too well how it feels to have someone tell you that when you can't say it back; he should've known better than to put that on her too._

"_I would too." He knows everything about wishing for turning points that you'll never get back._

_She smiles at him one last time and then closes the door behind her. Lucas looks at the brown door, a different door every time, and recognizes the all too familiar feeling of having lost her once more._

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Her eyes flutter close and it all seems surreal. It always used to surprise her; the way it never seemed to work out, the way timing was never really on their side, though with their luck, she never should've been surprised at all.

It's different now though, but the astonishment is as present as ever. "Really?" She asks timidly, her eyes opening again.

"Yes." She lets out the smallest of sighs, revels in the sound of that one little word. "I love you, Peyton. I'm sick of having to ignore it. I want a real shot at us being together."

Peyton reaches out for him, her fists grasping onto the sides of his shirt. "I love you too." She almost whispers, her eyes devoid of sadness and then smiles at him, so wide and free and happy, reaching for his hand to lead him inside.

He only has eyes for her as he finally walks inside and shuts the black door behind him.


End file.
